Anita
Anandarajah
"STRESS?!
What does a 16-year-old know about STRESS?! "They have no credit card bills,
no car instalments, no taxes to pay, mouths to feed..." Bah. What do grown-ups
know? Surely they have forgotten! Having to balance five projects with the same
deadline for school can prove to be a burden for third formers who will also be
sitting for the PMR examination in October. "Perhaps we bring it upon ourselves,"
said Krystle Wong, 15. "I'm usually too lazy to do it on time, and rush like
mad at the eleventh hour," she said cheekily. Matthew Gerald Sahayan, 21,
laments about his lack of freedom, an oft-cited complaint. His parents imposed
a midnight curfew when college commenced last month. Before the curfew, Matthew
would crawl home as late as 4am.
"I feel left out now. I know how
to make it up to my parents though. I did rather poorly in my A-levels, and they
'quarantined' me. I'll prove that I'm responsible in the next exam. Meanwhile,
it's stressing me out not to be able to join my friends," he said.
Sebastian Fashiono, 20, faces a different set of stress-inducing problems. His
parents are separated. He refuses to dwell on that issue.
He is currently
balancing work and study -he is a programme co-ordinator at a private college
while pursuing a distance-learning programme. "My biggest problem is managing
time. I'm at work up to 10pm some nights, and make an appearance on weekends too."
According to consultant psychologist Paul Jambunathan, today's young people are
more stressed out. "They are hardly the architects of their own time. There
is less emphasis on extra-curricular activities within the school syllabus. Kids
have to stay back after a full day at school to participate in these activities.
"Young people are made to excel because of their parents' expectations. They
become high achievers at the expense of their childhood. And a survey I conducted
showed that Malaysian parents spend less than 10 minutes a day with their kids."
It's no wonder then that we've become a bunch of stressed kitty cats! But how
does one cope with stress? At a recent seminar organised by the Befrienders, designed
to help students cope with stress, Jambunathan helped many a stressed student
the way he knew best -with laughter. While some came prepared with an exercise
book and pen in hand, he came armed with funny anecdotes. "You can't avoid
stress unless you're dead." According to him, the key to living with stress
is coping. "We can't avoid stress by consuming tablets, running away or hoping
things will change overnight. Solely believing in God isn't going to help you
avoid it either. Spiritual belief will give you strength, but God will not come
down and slap the teacher who's giving you a hard time!" Here are a few handy
tips that were shared: 1. Develop interpersonal skills.
If someone is
upsetting you, explain to that person that you are hurt. "Don't call me an
idiot - who got the better score in the last exam?" Learn how to deal with
all sorts of people.
2. Learn to think skilfully.
Think of HOW
to deal with the problem at hand. Explore a few options.
3. Reaction.
Learn from the past, and apply it to the present.
4. Emotions. Be aware
of your emotions and that of others.
5. Stay healthy! If our immune system
weakens, we will be more prone to the common cold, ulcers and thrush. Does this
scenario sound familiar? You stayed up till 3am cramming for the exam, and you've
got a 9am paper. You're sleepy, you can't concentrate. "What you have to
do is settle into a routine one to two months before the exam so that your sleep
and waking times are automatic. Your body will cruise nicely, your muscles won't
tense and your bowels won't get clogged up." Jambunathan suggests that young
people maintain a personal stress log to chart episodes of stress. Note the day,
time, event, what you did, your distress level (rate on a scale of 1 to 10, 10
being the highest), how you felt and your physical response. This way you can
detect a pattern and hopefully find the source of your problems. Your psychologist
will certainly thank you! Let's say you know what's getting your goat. You want
to make a change. If you're thinking of improving your current state, Jambunathan
has some suggestions.
1. Effect your changes in small steps. Change one
thing at a time. Going cold turkey on football, television and music and flinging
yourself onto your workload will probably cause you to lose steam midway.
2. Have clear and specific attainable goals. Come up with an action plan.
3. Find a support person, a friend or family member you can always count
on.
4. Expect failures and relapses.
5. Be positive! However,
if you feel you can't do it alone, the friendly people at Befrienders are always
ready to lend an ear. You can also turn to your peer counsellors or teachers at
school. Good luck!